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Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Insecure Writers Support Group First Wednesday and Colin Frake's Enhanced iBook


Thanks ALEX


Last month I posted about considering Insecurity in a Positive Light--beautiful even. I took this idea from Therese J. Borchard, the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression; Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes, and The Pocket Therapist: An Emotional Survival Kit.

Since her techniques for managing this thing call Insecurity are so amazing, I thought I'd continue with more of her suggestions each month until I came to end. 

Here's #2

"Know it’s invisible.
You figure everyone can see that you’re insecure. And that actually makes you feel more insecure. But here’s the wonderful truth. No one can see your insecurity. They are too worried about their own insecurity to notice your insecurity. Even when I think the world can see me shake – when I get really nervous or uncertain – few people can. Either that or they are lying to me when I call them on it. Do your friends look insecure when they are in a group of coworkers or with dysfunctional families? Nope? No one can see your insides but you."

So can I cope with my Insecurities? 


Bet you can, too.

What do you think of Borchard's ideas about Insecurity? Had you ever considered them 
 1) Beautiful? 
 2) Invisible?


******




Samantha Geary Readstreak is hosting Two Steps From Hell's first book launch for Colin Frake - On Fire Mountain, an enhanced iBook with original orchestral soundtrack and 40 hand drawn illustrations!  

Stop by Sam's place and see what's going on.

70 comments:

  1. That's very true! No one knows but us. We can fake our way through it.

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    1. We can probably even fool ourselves.

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  2. I've been reading some lovely positive posts today. Love it. Insecurity is definitely a state of mind we either own or refuse to own.

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    1. Hi Denise. There are always some great boosts on the first Wed. of the month. Glad you stopped by.

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  3. I try to feel like Bob the Builder, the children's carton figure, and say, 'we can do it, yes we can!'

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  4. Smart advice. People really are so focused on themselves they don't notice those things in others.

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  5. So true! Kind of like 'fake it till you make it'! :)

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  6. I've always held to the idea that some insecurities can be a good thing.

    They're strong motivators as long as you don't let them overwhelm you :)

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    1. Indeed. If we're complacent, we don't move forward.

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  7. I like that...no one can see your insides but you. It is true...and it is good to be reminded of that! Thanks for this, have to go back and read your previous post now!

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    1. We're all actors. Shakespeare had it right.

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  8. I love this invisible idea. Glad you shared more from Borchard, I love her suggestions.

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  9. Great post, and I'm going to forward the link to a few of my writing friends. :-)
    Deb@ http://debioneille.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks for passing on the information, Debi.

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  10. Such an interesting thought. :-)

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    1. A different way of looking at an old issue. I like it.

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  11. I *know* this but sometimes I still allow it to get the best of me and let insecurity hang around. Even if I'm the only one that knows, boo me! lol

    I like the positivity of these post so much! Keep 'em coming!

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  12. Thanks for the positive posts, C.Lee! Insecurity is invisible but I'm not sure about beautiful . . . :)

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    1. Got to read post one. That explains what she means.

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  13. A good reminder that no one around us is a mind-reader. Though we can sometimes give a lot of bodily hints of how we're feeling (slumped posture, etc), so it can take positive self talk to counteract it.

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    1. I love talking myself out of bad moods. "Listen up, Lee. Get it together." :-)

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  14. Good advice. It's so simple, but most people don't think about. I deal a lot with insecurity and anxiety, but it's true that I don't tend to notice it in others.

    -Lauren

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    1. I hadn't thought about this before I read Borchard's paper. Now I'm on it. :-)

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  15. Sometimes I worry that my body language is very obviously insecure (slouching, lack of eye contact, etc.), but maybe people are too caught up in their own insecurities to notice.

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  16. My problem, I'm too often hiding my insecurities because I don't want to come across as weak. Dumb, I know. It's a long story, but insecurity draws us together, and it's a brave thing admitting we have them. .

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    1. And there is a connection, isn't there? Very human.

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  17. I never looked at it that way. It's true though. Others can't see inside us, maybe a little by our actions, but not our thoughts.
    Borchard's ideas are beautiful.

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    1. It's in the actions that we reveal what we want others to believe is our true selves. I like her ideas. They give us a different angle on things.

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  18. Yes, it's invisible. I often feel it's a wart on my nose, though. A really big one. Great advice.

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    1. Warts work in October. The rest of the time, I'm not into them. :-)

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  19. Amen! As a performer that's one thing I learned well. As long as this smile was plastered to my face, my shoulders were back, and my chin high, no one knew I was trembling inside. Eventually I wasn't anymore. Fake it til you make it. That's my take.

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    1. And a great motto that is! I'm stealing it.

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  20. When I'm feeling insecure in any form, I do remind myself that no one see's what I'm feeling on the inside, and then I actually feel better.

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    1. Then you're already there! Congratulations.

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  21. It's true that insecurity is invisible. No one can see it, only we can feel it.

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    1. And it's very real. It just shouldn't stop us.

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  22. Yes, it's invisible. Some people are better hiding it from others. I hate pretending like everything is fine when it isn't and being fake. I have friends who pull it off so well too. I'll have to read how insecurity can be beautiful. I don't picture it that way at all. Thanks for the thought provoking post here.

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    1. Her point was that insecurity was a humble posture and humble was beautiful. That's the short take on her idea.

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  23. Realising that other people couldn't see it helped me quite a bit a while ago.

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    1. It does give you a bit of starch to get through.

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  24. Maybe no one can see my insecurities, but since I whine, kvetch, moan, and complain about them all the time, they're not quite invisible either. Perhaps I need a muzzle... or a separate rant blog that's not in my name. "That crazy ranting blogger wrote what? How rude. I'm shocked! Truly shocked!"

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    1. Let me know when you come up with your new blog. I'm there to rant along.

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  25. I think some insecurities are very endearing. Consider a young girl who nibbles at her lower lip as she struggles to find the right words, or a man who wobbles as he walks up to the podium before delivering a heartfelt speech. Those physical signs of insecurities are noticeable, but they're also endearing. We see them, but unless the person becomes overwhelmed or stops what they're attempting as a result, they glide by quietly because we all understand. We can relate.

    Great post!

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    1. You and Joylene have touched on another aspect of this. We're often endeared to others by seeing those moments of insecurity on their faces and we can connect with them for sure.

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  26. Hi Lee,

    More like, living with rather than suffering from depression. Indeed, most people are so worried that you might notice their insecurities, that they will hardly notice your own insecurities. That author has an ethos that I relate to and with plugging my site, I did a whole series on insecurity and low self-esteem. Yep, my serious side came out.

    I rejoice in being secure in my insecurities!

    So there you go and I'm still your most starstruckest fan!

    Gary :)

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    1. And you should plug your site. It has serious and not so serious that we all appreciate and enjoy.

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  27. I have considered insecurities as invisible. They tend to show on some sleeves like emotions. In many things, it really comes down to perspective.

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    1. All is perspective in the end, right? :-)

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  28. I definitely have considered them invisible. I've spent most of my life as the invisible one and it's hard to think anyone notices me at all. Yet the IWSG has done wonders for me. I love the community!

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  29. I think that the people that seem to have no problems in their lives are just well-practiced in hiding it. Ironic that it's a good thing that people (obviously not including anyone reading this!) are kind of self-centered. :) Interesting post. Thanks for sharing.

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  30. What a cool thought! Thank goodness it's invisible, or else I'd look like a complete wreck.

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  31. I hadn't thought of it that way, but it's so true. No one can see anyone else's insecurity, and, hey, if they can, then they're far more forgiving of it than we are of ourselves.

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  32. This is a great post and a wonderful point is made. I feel like others can see through me sometimes, but in truth they can't. Coping with one's insecurity is definitely possible. Thank you for your nice words on my blog.

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  33. I could see how it'd be invisible. My default reaction to nervousness and insecurity is to plaster a smile to my face. Of course, my husband tells me I have different smiles. One for when I'm happy, one for when I'm terrified, and one for when I'm really ticked off. I suppose I took that song about "just smiling" to heart.

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  34. Very interesting post! One of my favorite quotes (and I can't recall who said it!!!) is:
    "Our doubt is our passion"
    Which means that doubt and insecurity can fuel our creativity and passion!

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  35. I like your little motivational illustration.

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  36. I know my insecurities are invisible because I'm pretty good at maintaining a calm demeanor. If I'm not, then I'm in pretty bad shape and probably need a hug (despite me saying I hate hugs.)

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  37. I can put on a brave face. And sometimes I meet people who seem so stable and later on they admit to me that they were nervous and insecure.

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  38. There are many days where I would love to be invisible! It would be a great way to gather more research material!

    Julie

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  39. So true about being able to hide the insecurities and our other hard feelings. And that's okay because we don't have to share it with everyone.

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  40. I am constantly telling my clients that the only person in the entire world who knows what it's like inside of their heads is them. Good, bad and insecure that only one who can see what it's like on the inside is you. The reminds me of a favorite saying: "Don't compare your insides to another person's outsides"
    Great post!

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  41. I find I relate more to someone who does show insecurities - anxiousness - scared stiff! Makes the individual more human and, for me, endearing. Rather that than the person with absolutely no insecurities and drives you mad with their know-it-all attitude. A little confidence is good, a lot less so. Actually, applies to both :) God I waffle sometimes LOL!
    Suzanne @ Suzannes-Tribe
    x

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  42. Sometimes we just have to fake our way through things, so nobody knows we're insecure!

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  43. Great post! When I am feeling my most insecure I feel like it is written all over my face, but most of the time others probably can't tell. It makes sense that most people are more worried about themselves than other people's insecurities. A good reminder!

    Hope you had a happy 4th!
    Jess

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