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Wednesday, June 4, 2014

IWSG Wednesday and UncommonYA Gives Sliding on the Edge a Shout Out

ALEX CAVANAUGH
Visit more of the GROUP
Co-Host for Today
L.G. KELTNER
MELANIE SCHULZ
TRACY JO


Therese J. Borchard offers help to getting you over that Insecurity Hump. She's the author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes, and The Pocket Therapist: An Emotional Survival Kit, so I think I can point to her as an expert on these matters. Here's one of her steps that I found particularly appealing and wanted to share with you on this Wednesday.
Consider it beautiful.
If you believe what Saint Augustine did, that the origin of “sin” is pride, then it’s easy to consider the opposite, humility, as a supreme virtue. And follow that logic to insecurity=vulnerability of spirit=humility. Borchard points out, “With insecurity, we admit that it’s not all about us, and that philosophy in this world of self-centeredness is quite lovely.”

Now that I'm thinking of insecurity as something positive I can move right along with my day. I'm co-hosting IWSG today and since this is my first co-host gig, I was a bit insecure about it. Now I think I see a halo just over my head.



The group called UNCOMMONYA is giving my first young adult novel a bit of a boost with what they call THE BLAST. So today is full of possibilities for all kinds of insecure moments. That's why I was particularly happy when I found Borchard's information.

Even my characters are INSECURE and, therefore, BEAUTIFUL!



"Though one may conquer a thousand times a thousand men in battle, yet he indeed is the noblest victor who conquers himself."
How does this philosophy and the logic I've proposed sit with you? How do you deal with insecurity?


112 comments:

  1. Insecure equals humility - and we all need that!
    Thanks for co-hosting today.
    And awesome about the blast for your book.

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    1. I was quite relieved to find that Borchard philosophy.

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  2. Best wishes on the book. An exciting time for you I'm sure.

    How do I deal with insecurity? I pretend that I'm not. I totally agree with the philosophy that you propose since I avoid disagreeing with anybody. I'm afraid people won't like me if I state contrary opinions.

    Lee
    Tossing It Out

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    1. I kind of doubt that you never disagree, but I think your strategy for dealing with insecurity is perfect. Ignore it and it doesn't exist.

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  3. Feeling insecure? I gut it out--or try to. LOL Thanks for co-hosting!

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    1. Gut it out is another great strategy. Thanks so much for your visit today.

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  4. I wear a big white hat of insecurity most of the time. lol I like that philosophy, too. It's great for our group! Thanks for co-hosting. :)

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    1. A big white hat is exactly right. Great to have you visit today.

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  5. First, I realize it's normal and, to an extent, necessary for balancing my perspective and keeping me humble. I evaluate the validity of it (often it's unfounded or overblown), then, if it's warranted, I turn it into motivation to study and practice and get better at my craft.

    Thanks for co-hosting!
    IWSG #215 until Alex culls the list again.

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    1. That's a great way to use Insecurity, Melissa!

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  6. I don't deal with it... I just live with it

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  7. At least thinking of it as a virtue instead of not believing in yourself is a much more positive way to live with insecurity! I like that. A lot. Have yet to make it to your blog before today and am happy to have found you. Thanks for co-hosting this month. I loved co-hosting last month...

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    1. I've certainly met some great new bloggers by co-hosting.

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  8. Hi there! Love the post! Thanks for co-hosting! You did an awesome job for a first-timer. I've never experienced that yet. Way to go!

    SittieCates
    IWSG #213

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    1. Thanks so much. I was a tad nervous, but I've met so many new bloggers that I'm really glad I did it.

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  9. There really is a lot of truth about how we 'see' things like insecurities. Seeing them as positives takes away the threat and makes them manageable and more easily manipulated. I really like this idea. Taking it from you... ;)

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  10. Often we find that which we are insecure about, leads us to tjat which we need most to learn. So indeed, insecurity can be (is) a positive attribute in our lives as long as we are open to the possibilities it provides. (Nice job co-hosting today!)

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  11. Great post! You made me smile. Thanks for sharing.

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  12. Congrats on the book blast! That's exciting. And I love this passage you shared - great perspective.

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    1. Me too. I could use a push with that book.

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  14. I'm so happy for you. I hope the blast works well for you.

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  15. I wear it on my right sleeve, the left on already has my heart...

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  16. Congrats on the book blast; I'm sure it will go well. :) Thanks so very much for co-hosting this month's IWSG. You're doing a fantastic job. Eva

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  17. We all have insecurities. Anyone who says otherwise is lying. I try to remind myself that we all have them and that helps.

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  18. I try to keep too busy to think about it.
    Thanks for co-hosting this month.

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    1. That's a really good way to manage insecurity.

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  19. The book blast sounds exciting. I'm feeling rather sin free today with my insecurities.

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    1. I love those sin free days. Good for you.

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  20. I'm not entirely sure I've learned how to deal with insecurity, other than just accepting that it's going to happen. Thanks for co-hosting!

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    1. I suppose it's inevitable in any endeavor. Just wish it didn't drag me down. I'm working on not letting that happen, ergo this bit of philosophy.

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  21. I agree; insecurity is beautifully human.It's an uplifting philosophy.

    Your cover intrigues me. It's great. Much success to you with the Edge, and thanks for co-hosting.

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  22. I agree; insecurity is beautifully human.It's an uplifting philosophy.

    Your cover intrigues me. It's great. Much success to you with the Edge, and thanks for co-hosting.

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    1. Thanks Robyn. Great to see you here and thanks for the encouragement.

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  23. Insecurity can be rough to deal with, but I don't think it's a bad thing. It can cause you to slow down and reassess instead of barreling into something without thought. You just can't let it rule your life.

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    1. So true. Slowing down gives you time to adjust and rethink. Good point.

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  24. Thank you for co-hosting today! Inspiring words! I enjoyed your post yesterday, too, about your schedule. Whew! You are one busy, productive lady!

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    1. Thanks so much for the visit. I just stopped by your place and loved being there.

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  25. Thanks for co-hosting. Sometimes, we can be our worst enemy, hence conquering self, particularly the mind and how we see ourselves, is important.

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    1. I'm often the one I should be wary of. :-)

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  26. Thanks so much for sharing this. I'd forgotten. Shame on me. Haha. Humility is my friend, humility is my friend. That's my new mantra. Happy IWSG, and thanks for co-hosting.

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  27. Thanks for co-hosting the blog hop this month. Enjoyed the Augustine quote and humility correlative. We agree it's good to go out on a limb and feel insecure from time to time -- good for the soul and good to test what's outside our comfort zone!

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    1. Absolutely. So glad you stopped by to say hi.

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  28. I wish some of my co-workers had humility. They are the most prideful/boastfilled men I've ever met.

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  29. Then I'm one of the MOST human people I know! Thanks for your encouragement.

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    1. We all need to be encouraged. It's very human. :-) You're among a lot of us human here.

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  30. That IS liberating... to accept insecurity as a thing that's okay and not let it stop you up. I definitely think it is less dangerous a companion than too much confidence... I mean you need to have the bravery to get your stuff out there, but if we get too confident, we risk ceasing to grow.

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    1. I agree. If you're over-confident, you might not listen or learn and stay stuck right where you are. That's not a good idea at all.

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  31. Since I'm somewhat of a 'Holy Roller' which my family tends to call me, I agree with Borchard's logic and philosophy. Humility is absolutely beautiful!!

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    1. I'm reading her stuff. She's really quite good. Hope to share more of her philosophy with the group next month.

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  32. I'm totally insecure about a lot of things. Thanks for the encouragement. And hope the book blitz works.

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    1. Guess it's good we have this group to share all of this with!

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  33. Conquer the inner demons first, eh? Those who are humble leave it to others to exalt them, and therein lies true power.

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  34. This is great. Saving it to remind myself. Congratulations on your Book Blast. It is a wonderful story and I hope everyone reads it. You're doing a super job of co-hosting. :)

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    1. I always appreciate your support, Beverly.

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  35. There was a quote on someone's blog (I think it was Chrys Fey's blog) I ran across of today that mentioned insecurity is a way for us to strive toward perfection. If we're not insecure, then we have no reason to change. We'll become stagnant and complacent.

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    1. Yes. That's another way to look at it.

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  36. I like that...insecurity as a positive thing. I think I'll go with that.

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  37. Thank you for co-hosting. Probably most writers are insecure. It's just the nature of the beast! We think a lot and can dredge up all kinds of insecurities no one else notices!

    Mary Montague Sikes

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    1. I know. My family thinks I'm nuts with all the nail biting I do.

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  38. I like this way to view insecurity, thanks for sharing it with us today.
    Thanks also for co-hosting this month.

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    1. I've enjoyed doing it. I've met several new and exciting bloggers.

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  39. Thanks! I really needed to read this today. Conquering self...the hardest conquest if all. I shall be back to this post often, just to remind myself.

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  40. Goo luck with your book blast. It might just be the boost you need.

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  41. That's definitely a good perspective on it. Insecurity goes to the heart of our realization that we're not the center of the universe. There are others out there who are better than us--there are others who are worse, but we don't notice that!

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  42. Thursday June 5th, 2014

    Dear Ms McKenzie,

    Thank you so much for your kind words about my post for IWSG for June. Finding my cat Mathilda was truly a miracle for me. So I just had to write about this miracle, even if some readers may not have liked it.

    So nice to meet you! I would love to try to write young adult fiction or even children's books. (I don't feel grown up enough to write adult books.) I've never heard of you, but I will try to read something that you have written.

    Best wishes,
    Anna

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  43. Actually, you made my day.
    I've been having a tough time lately. My dear sweet Mathilda peed on the sheets of two beds and threw up a hair-ball on my down coverlet!
    So loving these wonderful furry four-footers is at a price!
    Anna

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  44. Good luck with your book blast! I don;t really know what insecurity equals in real terms, but darned if it doesn't continue to show up anyways. :)

    Thanks for co-hosting!

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  45. Congrats on getting blasted! Well, you know what I mean... ;)

    I already know it's not all about me. My cats tell me so daily.

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  46. "With insecurity, we admit that it’s not all about us," I never ever thought about insecurity being connected to not being self centered. A very comforting thought. I do not like to be around self centered people so insecure writers are wonderful! Good luck with your book blast. That's fantastic!

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  47. Thanks so much for co-hosting <3

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  48. Thanks you for co-hosting today. I love your post. It's comforting, especially when so many of us have insecurities. Good luck with the book blast!

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  49. Where's Penny, or Gary? Hi there, it's Gary and I've finally gotten around to your post. So many doing that "I Was Seeking Gary" dedication themed post. And to really make my day, you co-hosted. I'm an emotional wreck of joy because of this.

    To know you got blasted is a good boost for your fine self, I reckon.

    I've never been insecure about my writing. The reason is that I have no expectations and thus, no pressure. Just a bit of therapy I try to share with anybody who stumbles upon my obscure site.

    Take care and keep smiling. Your post was a blast.

    Your starstruckest fan,

    Gary

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  50. If we can draw a correlation with insecurity and humility, then a I must be riveted through and through by the spades.

    I'm rather pleased to find this positive spin on this angle of being that finds it has a permanent nook in my life. I would try to dislodge it completely but I find that a bit of insecurity - humility - keeps me honest with myself and humble to my daily love for writing as a whole.

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  51. I'm a bigger believer in "acting as if" -- so acting confident breeds confidence. Eventually. :)

    Happy to help with the blast.

    Yvonne

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  52. Sometimes you just gotta hang in there and wait for the silver lining to appear.

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  53. Hooray for book love on "Sliding..." Love your take on insecurity. Lovely.

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  54. I can work with that! So if I'm terribly insecure, does that make me incredibly virtuous? ;)

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  55. Mostly I try to write through insecurity. Most of the time, that works. Thank you for hosting IWSG.

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  56. I love the reflections...
    I just sweep insecurities under the rug, put on a cheerful face, and life goes on... if you peeked under that rug, you'd be shocked at the collection of 'writerly creatures' with Iittle eyes… peering up at you from under there…
    Thank you for co-hosting the IWSG, Lee!

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  57. I believe that our insecurities force us to seek out the help and encouragement of others. That is how we create and maintain community. Though we write alone, we are never alone! Wonderful post and thank you for co-hosting this month!

    Jen

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  58. I have an almost child-like ability to ignore the insecurities that hit me every day. Basically I go to bed and when I wake up the next day, all the thoughts about never being published seem to disappear. At least until the next time something bad happens.

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  59. Conquering self is certainly tough for me. :-)

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  60. Insecurity keeps me striving for improvement, so I'd say it's a good thing. :-)
    Deb@ http://debioneille.blogspot.com

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  61. woo hoo on your blast. That's exciting, and I like the idea of making friends with our insecurity, that maybe it's a good thing. It's a nice, fresh perspective.

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  62. Thank you for hosting and sharing the wise words. In the same vein, I find that there is more beauty in imperfection than perfection. I've stopped trying to make my stories perfect for the masses, but have settled on making the pleasing to myself and hopefully someone else with like them.

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  63. What a great way to look at it! And I agree that humility is a virtue at times.
    Congrats on your blast, Lee! :)

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  64. That's a great attitude/philosophy and definitely something I needed to hear this week. Thanks.
    Tina @ Life is Good
    On the Open Road! @ Join us for the 4th Annual Post-Challenge Road Trip!

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  65. I love, love, love your take on insecurities.
    And congrats on the boost!

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  66. I loved reading this. Your thoughts and take on insecurity definitely put a bit of a boost in my thinking. There was once a time when I dwelled in my insecurities because I was severely bullied growing up. However, I truly believe we can use our insecurities to our advantage because they make us want to be better people. We will never be perfect, but in seeking perfection, there is beauty and knowledge in the journey.

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  67. Lee, I must be the most beautiful person ever ;) -- can you tell?

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  68. Best of luck for you and your book. Thanks for co-hosting!

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  69. Congrats on your book blast! I also love the cover! Thanks for the wise words, and for co-hosting the IWSG!

    Julie

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  70. I don't see insecurity as a bad thing. It makes us humble, makes us realize that nobody's perfect, and it can motivate us to do better.

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  71. Great news about your book. Thanks for the positive outlook on insecurity. Now we all can be insecure and not feel bad about it. :D Thanks for co-hosting!

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  72. I love the idea of looking at things though a positive lens. :)

    Awesome that you are being blasted with comments and attention! Always wishing you the best.

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  73. I'm so glad to hear that insecurities are good. With that in mind, I went to check out your book on Amazon. Makes me wish I had time to review it myself.

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  74. Sweet on the book blast!

    You have me thinking on insecurity in a way I had not before. I know I have it, I know it's there...sometimes I just acknowledge it and do what I need to do anyway. Sometimes it gets the better of me in a sneaky way in that I find myself _not_ carrying on with something thinking I don't have the time or some other excuse when in fact it is insecurity taking over. I much prefer the acknowledge and move on option!

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