Whatcha Reading? Her Grammarness Has a Sense of Humor . . .Kind Of

I've just finished May This Be the Best Year of Your Life by Bornstein and Blindsided by Kyra Lynnon, and my reviews are up HERE.

I won Keeper of the Lost City from The Secret DMS Files of Fairday Morrow and so now I'm off on a wild adventure fantasy, written for middle grade readers.

I love that I can read anything and find something of value in all of them. So . . .whatcha reading?

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Her Grammarness

I'm a huge fan of Richard Lederer, and I've kept many of his articles I've read over the years because they made me laugh. We all know how embarrassing it is to write something, then discover it has grammatical errors. Even Her Grammarness knows how that feels. *Face grows red.*

But here's a fellow who knows how not to embarrass himself. Thanks for sharing this, Mr. Lederer.

A Zoo keeper who lost two of his animals in a fire wrote to a zoological supply company:

Dear Sirs,

Please send me two mongooses.

When he re-read the letter, he thought it didn't sound right, so he tried again.

Dear Sirs,

Please send me two mongeese.

That plural sounded even worse, so he wound up with:

Dear Sirs,

Please send me a mongoose, and while you're at it send me another mongoose.

Do you ever write around a grammar issue that you're not sure of? What are the sticky wickets of standard written English for you?

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Is everyone ready for the A-Z Blogging Challenge? Eeeek! Gotta go. I have a lot to do before April.

Monday Miscellany: Neumarian Uprising and Some Other Important Stuff, Too

Neumarian Uprising

We need your help! Thanks to our spy, Ciara Knight, we are able to communicate with you today via blogs, Facebook, Twitter and other social media.The Neumarian uprising has begun. We are fighting for freedom and equality for all, but we need your help. Ciara informed us that you might want to know more about the uprising and why we ask you to risk your lives for our cause. To answer these questions I’ve agreed to let Ciara tell my sister’s, Raeth’s, story about her captivity. It will be free for you on a site called Amazon until March 1, 2013.

Our spies have told us this will help spread the word and find more recruits for our rebellion against the tyrannical queen. You can help by simply downloading a free copy of  

Weighted, a prequel to the Neumarian Chronicles. If you are intrigued and wish to follow our uprising, Escapement, book I of The Neumarian Chronicles, will be available for only $2.99 until March 1, 2013.

Here is a brief explanation of her telling of our uprising:

Ten years after the great war of 2185 the queen’s reign is threatened by uprisings and fear. In celebration of my sixteenth birthday it is my duty as princess to sacrifice a slave to be initiated into the ruling council, solidifying my mother’s empire. When my own erratic powers surface I’m captured and tried for treason. Slaves hate me, my mother wants me executed, and my only chance of survival rests in the hands of a young man, Ryder Arteres, whose sister I sentenced to death.

If you'd like a peek into our world, please view this short YOU TUBE clip. Then, of course, enter to win your own copy.

Rafflecopter giveaway:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

________________

Now for some Miscellany

I couldn't possibly have Monday Miscellany unless I had something miscellaneous to include along with this major rebellion to report. So here are some fascinating items that I know will improve your day or your mind or something.

• Did you know that Lady Gaga had a labral tear in her hip and had to cancel the Born This Way Ball? Ouch.

• Did you know that major league baseball didn't come to the Pacific Coast until 1958? Huh? Why are we always last to get stuff?

• Did you know that the dome of St. Peter's Basilica in the Vatican was struck my lightning two times in the hours just after Pope Benedict XVI announced his resignation.  Now that's headline news.

That's all folks. Are you off to buy your copy of Escapement? Have any juicy miscellany to share? 

Small Things Hop

This week's SMALL THING turned out to be rather BIG and in our backyard. Can you see the pussy cat in the tree? She's about 150 pounds, and we later learned she has a guy with her, but when I took her picture he was in another tree. The lesson here is mountain lions can climb very high, so figure out another escape route.

Happy Friday All & thanks to 

Scribblings of An Aspiring Author 
for this fun Hop.

Monday Miscellany: A Chat With A Demon? How About Something Tamer? Writers4Writers?

Now available at AMAZON

Chat With Naite (Nye-TAY), Demon Guardian.

I don't usually ask to chat with Demons, after all they're not too friendly, but because I like Elizabeth Arroyo, I made an exception this time. Let me introduce her Demon Guardian Naite to you. *A shiver here is appropriate.

Terrified Blogger: Can you give a description of how you look? I mean just in case we run into you at some time and want to say hi. 

Naite: Oh, I'm afraid if you see my true form you'd probably run for the hills. Or wherever you humans run off to when scared out of your wits. Those that have seen my true form are bound to me. You can say it’s love at first sight. But, no, that wouldn't be right, because that person would probably lose their sight. Oh, let's just say I'm everyone and no one. I'm a shadow. A black mist rising from the depth of the earth. If you see anything like that, you give me a holler and we'll have us a great time.

Terrified Blogger: *Gulps water and swipes forehead with delicate lace hankie.*

Have you always been a demon, or did you work your way into the job?

Naite: I was born this way. My father is the second in command of our race. It's good to know someone on the inside. **wink, wink**

Terrified Blogger: *Hastily agrees with several quick nods.*

If you weren't a demon, what would you like to be? I don't suppose accountant is in your career choice mix, right? *Feeble attempt at keeping it light.

Naite: I wouldn't be a babysitter, that's for sure. I've been doing that job for a few thousand years and it's gotten me nowhere. No health care and the pay sucks...totally. I do have a knack for persuading people to do what I want, though it usually involves me slipping into their bodies and that can get nasty. No, I think I'd like to teach Zen Yoga. I need a bit of peace in my life.

Terrified Blogger: *Rolls shoulders back, relieved to hear Naite say the word Zen.*

What's the most exciting part about your job?

Naite: There's never a dull moment while orchestrating the end of the world. But if I have to choose one detail it'd have to be telling un-truths. It's not lying...really. 

Terrified Blogger: Thinks, End of the world?

We humans live with something called regret. You know we make mistakes, then we beat ourselves up about it. Do you ever have regrets about . . . oh say, ripping off heads or things like that?

Naite: Puh-lease. Ripping heads is not my thing. Okay, that's a total lie. It is. But every ripped head had a larger purpose in the grand scheme of things. Humans are just so dramatic. Anyway, regret is a human emotion. I wasn't born human like the other demons who have chosen this line of work. Those third tier demons may have regretted selling their soul, but, oh, well. A deal is a deal. 

Really Terrified Blogger: How many demons do you estimate we have in this world? Do you have any thoughts to share about how to treat demons--just some basic guidelines would be good.

Thinks, Where's the exit?

Naite: Our race has suffered some staff turn-over these past centuries. Something about unhealthy work conditions and unfair treatment have led them to seek opportunities with the angels. Free-will is a killer. 

Some basic guidelines to remember when dealing with demons:

• We don't like humans. 
• Everyone is at risk.
• Tier 1 demons: Avoid the head honcho and his enclave. You can't distinguish them. They have solid human forms and can poof. Yeah, poof. Don't mess with them. If you're on their radar it's way bad. 
• Tier 2: That would be me. You should really be afraid of me. I have no solid form and move in and out of anyone I please. You can say I'm a tad spoiled. 
• Tier 3: We are hiring, if you're so inclined to sell us your soul. I refer to that kind of demon as the wannabe's. I really, really don't like these. They are humans who have chosen to become demon and have been given certain powers. These demons are soldiers and do our bidding. 
• Overall, you should try to avoid us at all cost.

Thank you for hosting me. I have to get back to work doing...well, you'll find out soon enough. 

Terrified Blogger: Now in hiding. And no, I'm not under the bed, so don't look there.

You can find the author HERE.

Vist her BLOG and give her some support on FB,TWITTER

If you want the full effect of Naite, watch the TRAILER ,but be forewarned. This is spooky.

___________________

My Kind of Demon

About DEMONS: They're scary. They started out as angels, and then took on the Big Guy, so he tossed them out of paradise. That made them a tad cranky and, based on these images, kind of ugly. Do you have any favorite demons? Any that scare you more than others? Want to meet Naite in The Second Sign? Want to come hide with me?

To round out this Monday Miscellany, keep an eye out for Writers4Writers today and tomorrow. This month the spotlight's on Gwen Gardner and Melissa Bradley. Want to join in? Here's the Linky.

Host Stephen Tremp

The Small Things Hop

Hosted by VitLit

Here are a few Small Things that have made my week into a celebration.

I finally held The Crow in Yoga for more than a minute, and I didn't fall on my nose this time.

I wrote two chapters on Dragon Trail, a work that's been in process for far too long.

silaynnestock.deviantart.com 

(I didn't have my camera, but this is darned close to how it looked.)

I woke up early to walk the trail to greet the sunrise. I'm not sure this is a Small Thing. What do you think? Hope you'll visit some of the other writers and read about their Small Things for the week. 

Thundering Luv? Cover Reveal & Partay! Her Grammarness Goes On & On

New Books & Book Event

We have to have some LOVE on Valentine's Day, so LM Preston has provided us with her latest book and it's all about that subject.

Cover Reveal Ta da!

Here's the next book in the Luv series by LM Preston. This is a stand alone story, but if you want at taste of this series before you get your copy of Thundering Luv, just pick up a copy of Summer of Luv for $.99 at all ebook retailers.

Thundering Luv--a Short Story-YA Romance: Jewel has always been able to get the guy she wanted. The starting jock on the football team, the team captain on the basketball team, and the lead swimmer on the swim team. Problem is, she didn't find them the least bit exciting. Was she cold or a she-wolf for guys? Colin thought so, and he'd do anything to bring her down a peg or two. When these two collide on the sandy beach during their mixed up summer vacation,  sparks fly, making this a summer neither will forget.

Does this cover look hot, or what?

Release Date: June 1st, 2013

Format: Ebook Only Release, but will be part of a print book in 2014 that includes 3 short YA Summer Romances by LM Preston to include (Flutter Of Luv, Thundering Luv, and Double Trouble Luv)

FREE BOOK1 in the ‘Summer Luv’ series of short stories by LM Preston. Flutter Of Luv, to each person who:

• comments within 2 days of the cover reveal
• adds this book to their TBR list over at goodreads OR "like" Flutter of Luv at Amazon. (leave your like# in your comment here.

http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/bc05448/

You're invited to join in the fun at the  Facebook Release Party: May, 18th, 2013 combined party with LM Preston's 2013 releases.

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Her Grammarness

The Continuing Saga of The Amateur Writer: We all have to be amateurs at the start, but we don't have to stay that way, do we? However, if amateur status is your goal, here are some things (semantic as well as grammatical) to include in your stories

Body parts that take on a life of their own:

• Her hand flew to her mouth. (This is an interesting image. Wonder if she ducked?)
• His eyes shot toward her. (Yikes! Incoming.)
• The girl's head dropped onto the table. (That would ruin any meal.)

Which: use liberally and be sure it never connects with its noun:

• I didn't write the story, which was very tragic. (Tragic that you didn't write the story or did you mean that the story was tragic? Oh dear, we'll never know.)
• The aardvark ate the gorilla, which was truly amazing. (An amazing act, indeed for anything, especially the aardvark; however, just what is "truly amazing"--the eating of the gorilla or the gorilla itself?) 

Have you read any of these in WIP's? I have. I think I even found a few in some early writing at the back of my bookshelf. Incinerated now!

Monday Miscellany: Amateur Writers, Cocktail Party Fodder and Pithy Quotes

Amateur Writers

josephomotayo.blogspot.com

I read an article a while back titled, How To Remain An Amateur Writer. Just in case you're aiming for amateur, here are a few tips on how to stay in that category instead of moving into the arena with the pros. I think I've done all of these.

• Use as many adverbs a possible to save time.
• Come out of flashbacks with something clever like this: "Her thought returned to the present." 
• Be sure to impress the reader with your stellar vocabulary.  Inchoate or vitreous should do the job.
• Your characters should do a lot of these things: raise their eyebrows, shake their heads and sigh. 

Cocktail Party Fodder

• Charles Dickens touched objects three times for good luck. Really? How silly. *touch, touch, touch*
• The life span of a taste bud is about 10 days. Will it survive longer if I feed it chocolate?
• A large river hippo can open its mouth wide enough to fit a four-foot child. I'm off to buy some platform heels just in case a hippo drops by.
• Alec Guiness is the only actor to receive a best acting nomination of a performance in any of the Star Wars films. That makes total sense.

Pithy Quotes 

ideachampions.com

"If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor." Albert Einstein

"The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking." John Kenneth Galbraith

What are your pointers for remaining an amateur writer? I'm going to a Valentines Day party, so can you give me some more fodder? I suck at "small talk." Any pithy quotes you want to share? Please do.

Small Things Make All The Difference In A Day

Small Things 

do make a difference in a day. This week I received this very sweet award from a FATHERLY DRAGON friend of mine. The picture made me smile and the idea of being among the Cutie Pies made me happy. So I'm passing this Small Thing on to 5 other Cutie Pies as I celebrate the Small Things in my life. Hope this brings some smiles of joy to their faces, too.

• Angela Brown (because she's full of happiness already and gives me large doses of it when she visits my blog)
• Powdered Toast Man (because he sends me Pop Tarts)
• M Pax (because she makes me think of stars when I visit her blog)
• Darby Karchut (because she is the original Cutie Pie)
• J. Haight  (because of all those riddles) 

The Small Things Hop is fun. Go see what other Small Things bloggers are sharing.

Hosted by VikLit

New Book Thursday Features How to Publish and Promote Your Book Now. Her Grammarness Hugs a Few Clichés

New Book

Here's another winner of a book for authors. 

HOW TO PUBLISH AND PROMOTE YOUR BOOK NOW!

By L. Diane Wolfe

Publishing and promoting made simple!

Have you always dreamed of publishing a book but didn’t know where to begin? This book walks you through the steps of identifying markets, budgeting, building an online presence, and generating publicity. Get the whole story on:

·         Traditional publishing

·         Self-publishing

·         Print and e-book setup, formatting, and distribution

·         Finding your target audience

·         Generating reviews and media interest

·         Networking and developing an online presence

·         Promotional materials and appearances

Uncover your ideal publishing path and numerous marketing options before you begin. Writing is your dream. Give it the best chance for success!

Available February 5, 2012

Publishing/Marketing, 214 pages, Dancing Lemur Press LLC

$14.95 Trade paperback ISBN 978-0-9827139-5-2

$4.99 Ebook ISBN 978-0-9827139-9-0

Barnes and Noble 

Amazon

Amazon Kindle 

What People Are Saying:

“She gives an unbiased take on the advantages and disadvantages of traditional publishing and self-publishing and publishing paths that combine the two… It's the perfect book for those who want an overview to begin the decision-making process.”

- Carolyn Howard-Johnson, author of the multi award-winning series of how-to books for writers http://howtodoitfrugally.com/

“A must-read for writers planning on self-publishing or any writer who wants the ultimate how-to on promoting. Tons of links, advice, and how-to, whether you're going for print or e-publication.”

- Helen Ginger, author of Angel Sometimes http://helenginger.com/

The Author's Sites:

Blog - Spunk On A Stick’s Tips - http://circleoffriendsbooks.blogspot.com/

Website - Spunk On A Stick - http://www.spunkonastick.net/

Twitter - https://twitter.com/SpunkOnAStick

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/l.diane.wolfe

Bio: 

Known as “Spunk On A Stick,” Wolfe is a member of the National Speakers Association and a motivational speaker. She’s conducted seminars on book publishing and promoting for five years and assisted writers through several author services. Her other titles include “Overcoming Obstacles With SPUNK!” which ties her goal-setting and leadership seminar’s information together, and a YA series, “The Circle of Friends.” Wolfe travels extensively for media interviews and speaking engagements, maintains a dozen websites & blogs, and contributes to several other sites and newsletters.

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Her Grammarness

This morning I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and instead of feeling as fit as a fiddle, I was weak as a kitten. However, even though I was beside myself, after a very nice cappuccino, I managed to pull myself together. After all, we know that every cloud has a silver lining and all's well that ends well. Those thoughts kept me afloat, and I bounced downstairs as if I didn't have a care in the world. 

Now wasn't that a lot of fun to read? Or did it send shivers down your spine? Cat got your tongue? Surely you can read between the lines. Care to share some of your own favorite clichés?

Insecure Writer's Support Group Therapy Session Open

Alex Cavanaugh's Brilliant Idea

Are you an insecure writer? 

What do you do to handle your sudden stabs of insecurity?

Do those moments when you're huddled under your desk ever make you think of turning to another career, a shrink? 

Then you've come to the right place. This is your group and we welcome you. Just stop by and leave a  few kind words at these blogs. 

Chocolate and wine are also appreciated. And if you can lend a hand with windows or ovens, I'm there for you--whatever you need with your manuscript.

Monday Miscellany: Move Over, Finn Finnegan is Coming

Finn (not bleedin' Finnegan) MacCullen is eager to begin his apprenticeship. He soon discovers the ups and downs of hunting monsters in a suburban neighborhood under the demanding tutelage of the Knight, Gideon Lir. Both master and apprentice are descendants of the Tuatha De Danaan, a magical race of warriors from Ireland. Scattered long ago to the four corners of the world, the De Danaan wage a two thousand year old clandestine battle with their ancient enemy, the AmandÃn, a breed of goblin-like creatures.

Now with the beasts concentrating their attacks on Finn, he and his master must race to locate the lost Spear of the Tuatha De Danaan, the only weapon that can destroy the AmandÃn, all the while hiding his true identity from his new friends, Rafe and Savannah, twins whose South African roots may hold a key to Finn's survival. Armed with a bronze dagger, some ancient Celtic magic, and a hair-trigger temper, Finn is about to show his enemies the true meaning of "fighting Irish."

___________________ 

You’ve read and loved Spencer Hill Press’ YA books. Now Spencer Hill Press would like to introduce you to a book for your sons, daughters, younger siblings, friends, students and other Midgrade Readers. Finn Finnegan is an adventure story that will grip even reluctant readers with goblins, cool weapons, realistic parent/child relationships and subtle themes of responsibility, friendship and racism. Action and complex characters make it a great read for grownups, too. (Go on and try to tell me that Finn’s teacher, Gideon, doesn’t win you over.)

Darby is a 7th grade teacher at Cheyenne Mountain Junior High School in Colorado Springs (social studies). Her school is the 2012 Colorado Middle School of the Year, and was the runner up for the 2012 Middle School of the Year for the U.S. She’s available for radio, television and print interviews, as well as guest posts. 

WIN WIN WIN

Spencer Hill Press is offering a prize package to ONE winner throughout the tour that includes a copy of the book, a $25 Amazon gift card and Finn Finnegan themed temp tattoos. 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

I'll be posting my review of Darby's new book as soon as possible. I've been charmed by her characters and shared her work with some of the younger readers in my family.

___________________

I can't see the name Finn Finnegan without hearing a brogue, so I thought I'd add a touch of Irish to this Monday Miscellany.  We're only a little over a month away from St. Patrick's Day, right?

Did you know that the Shamrock came to be associated with St. Patrick's Day because of its three-leaves--a comparison to the holy trinity? I learned that in Catholic school from an Irish nun. Some things you just never forget.

Here's my Irish wish to all:

Grant me a sense of humor, Lord, 

the saving grace to see a joke,
To win some happiness from life,
And pass it on to other folks.

___________________

My favorite quote for this Miscellany Monday: "I've learned one thing--people who know the least anyways seem to know it the loudest." Al Capp

What do you think of Darby's series? Have you read any of her books? Share some Irish lore and get us in the mood for March 17. 

The Small Things Blog Hop

Hosted by VitLit

This week I was so thankful for being able to focus on Small Things. There were too many big, serious, hairy things coming at me, and the little things helped me keep focused and sane.

I didn't have much time, but when the sun came out I took a few minutes to sit on the deck, sip a coffee and stare out over the forest. It had been several weeks since the weather was inviting enough to do that. The cat immediately found my lap. The pesky squirrel, that's forever burying, and then digging up nuts in my plants, scolded me for interrupting his regular schedule. He finally left in a huff. The cat stretched and said, "Good riddance."

So that was my Small Thing: a moment in the sun with lap warmed by Cat and a small victory over a squirrel that usually has his way with my flower pots.

Be sure to Hop over to all of these sites, say hi, enjoy a few more Small Things in other people's lives.