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Thursday, September 15, 2011

In the Throes of Thursday-Write Campaign Challenge #1

 I love challenges, and this 200 word challenge has been fun. Here's my offer. In fact, I got so carried away, I posted two, and even though I'm too late to compete for the PRIZE, I'd love it if you'd tell me which one of my entries you like best.

I've gone to several blogs and read their posts. None are alike and all of them are great. Kudos to  all the #writecampaign people.


The door swings in and I’m not ready. I’ll never be ready for this. Who would be?
There he perches high above me just as I’d imagined, but smiling, not as I imagined at all.
“You’re late.”
“Traffic.”
His grin unsettles me more than I am already.
“Shall we begin?”
Like I have a choice? I’d say this, but I know better.
“How do see all of this playing out?”
Again, he’s put me off balance. I wasn’t ready to answer questions.
“Surely you’ve thought about it.”
When I don’t answer, he says, “Hmm. Too bad. I usually give choices. In your case, I guess it will be a surprise.”
“Can I ask when . . . to expect the . . . surprise?”
He doesn’t answer.
My leg jiggles, an old tick from childhood.
“That’s part of the surprise. You know that.”
“Do I get a warning?”
“You don’t want a warning. Warnings only make humans edgy.” He strokes his bony chin and the sleeve of the cloak slips back so his whiteness glows under the light.
I clench my fists, and a thin drizzle of cold sweat slides down my spine.
“Bye. Bye,” he says. “See you soon.”
Death’s door swings closed behind me.

AND #2 Just because #1 was so coated in drear. 

The door swings in and the chill fingers of this October night curl over her skin.
When the thud, thud, thud of knuckles against the wood summoned her, when she grasped the knob, when she twisted it and the latch clicked free, the cautioning voice in her head said, “Don’t open that door.” Still she ignored the warning, and now she must deal with the consequences.

This is her own fault. She knew this was coming and still she hadn’t prepared, hadn’t thought what she’d do once confronted with these ghosts coming at her through the dark, their eyes unblinking, their demands unwavering.

There are three this time, but more hovering just out of that cone of yellow that thwarts the insects, but fails to protect her against these spirits. What does she have in her storehouse that might appease them and send them away?

“Nothing.” That inner voice is talking to her again.

If she quickly slams the door, locks it and turns off all the lights, will they vanish? Will she be able to climb between her sheets, knowing she’s escaped their vengeance?

“Not on your life.”

Damn that voice.

“Trick or treat,” the first ghost sing songs.

22 comments:

  1. It's amazing how many different scenarios can be created using the same first words!
    Love it!

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  2. Well done! These are both wonderfully creepy. The first gave me a chill (literally) so I think it's my favorite. (Too bad you didn't enter in time.)

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  3. I didn't think I'd do the campaign, so I procrastinated until it was too late, then these ideas hit me and in a few minutes I wrote them both. This tells me something about how my head works.

    Thanks for stopping by Kelly and Mel. Always fun to know I've shared something with you.

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  4. These are great! Perfect for the season. Both have that chilling and tense edge to them.

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  5. I like #1 best because of the tension and chill factor ;)

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  6. Definitely number 1. It was eerie, but vividly written, very real.

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  7. I'm going whit the rest of the crowd and saying #1 - but just by a smidgen because I like the second one as well. No fair making us choose Lee :P

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  8. The second one sounds like the way I may feel about Halloween this year. The first one is pretty dark, but I think I preferred that first one.

    Lee
    Tossing It Out

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  9. I'm beginning to think writers a dark bunch! Thanks for the vote, though.

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  10. Love the first one. Unexpected twits and unique angle.

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  11. Oh, how fun! They both felt so season-appropriate. I really enjoyed them! :)

    Now to find a blanket...

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  12. these are both fantastic... I think I liked the first one best even though (or maybe BECAUSE) it was dreary. Love a good dark story.

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  13. Good on you for writing two entries. I like #1 - shivers down the spine!

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  14. I'm now following your blog and looking forward to your posts.
    Fellow MG-YA Campaigner

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  15. I'm now following your blog and looking forward to your posts.
    Fellow MG-YA Campaigner

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  16. Thanks all for the follow and the comments. I'm awarding myself a prize for #1 since that got the most votes.

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  17. Yep, lol, #1 it is, love them both really. Very interesting blog, will stick around and read.

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  18. I think I like #1 better, too. They're both good, but #1 has the edge. :-)

    Thanks for looking in on my blog. I had to search for you by email because I didn't see your name on the campaign list; when I found your blog, The Write Game, I returned to the campaign list and immediately saw you listed alongside me!

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  19. Love it. The variety of the entries is wonderful. I have to say, #1 was my favorite. I love anything to do with Death.

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  20. They're both spooky, but #1 is my favorite. It's suspensful and mysterious.

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