Well, here goes. I'm entering That's YAmore Blogfest to have some fun this Valentine season. Shutting my eyes and thinking about steaming up the screen with something hot, but YA suitable. That's a challenge in itself, but to do it in 250 words adds a bit more difficulty. Love scenes are NOT my strongest suit, so cut me some slack when you read and comment here, okay?
Liz starts the movie and leans close. My side goes steamy from her heat. Below my belly button, tiny needles tattoo my skin, and I can’t tell if it hurts or if it feels better than anything I’ve felt in my life.
I keep my eyes on the screen while Neo hacks away at his computer.
Liz pulls my hand around her shoulders, then rubs my palm with her thumbs.
While Neo’s figuring out what’s real, what isn’t, what’s next, so am I.
She brushes her lips across my knuckles. I miss a scene; my heart misses a beat.
Neo hurtles off walls and into battle, a super human, and I’m thinking Neo wouldn’t sit here, waiting for Liz to take charge. Neo would be the man.
“You like?” She asks.
I pull her around to face me, and plant a kiss almost where I planned but close enough to get her attention.
Her mouth opens under mine, and now my lips heat up like the rest of me, and I’ve got tiny hearts pumping everywhere. I push harder and she falls back onto the couch with me kneeling over her.
“You’re good, Hutch.” She smiles up at me, and I kiss her again.
I am good. Everything inside me says, “good to go” when she holds her hands against my chest.
“That’s it.”
“That’s what?”
“I don’t go all the way.”
Those tiny hearts turn into satellites around the thudding planet that’s ready to go nova in my chest.
From The Double Negative, WIP, © C. Lee McKenzie
I'm a writer who captures the pulse of adolescent confusion in my Young Adult fiction, Sliding on the Edge and The Princess of Las Pulgas. Of course, I often reveal a lot of my Old Adult confusion while doing that. My first Middle Grade fantasy titled Alligators Overhead is out to good reviews, so that's making me happy. SUMMER SCHEDULE: I'll be blogging on Mondays only, unless there's something important.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
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I enjoyed this snippet from your WIP novel :) Good Luck!
ReplyDeleteThose tiny hearts turn into satellites around the thudding planet that’s ready to go nova in my chest. <---I love this line! Thanks for joining in the blogfest <3
ReplyDeleteOh wow, this is so cute, "I don't go all the way!" It did get my heart racing! Loved it :-D
ReplyDeleteWhew, Lee! You went and got darn steamy. I love that he plants a kiss almost where he planned. His slight fumbles make him endearing and real.
ReplyDeleteYes. I like it from the male point of view. He sounds so sweet. :)
ReplyDeletewoot! love this line: Below my belly button, tiny needles tattoo my skin, and I can’t tell if it hurts or if it feels better than anything I’ve felt in my life.
ReplyDeleteI've been making the rounds and reading the other posts. They're great. This has been fun and such a great idea, Jessie!
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the comments here.
"ready to go nova" is a great line!! Fun, truthful scene.
ReplyDeleteerica
I love this from the male perspective. Great job!
ReplyDeleteMy favorite line is: I pull her around to face me, and plant a kiss almost where I planned but close enough to get her attention.
Really really good. I will now go take a cold shower. Nice work.
ReplyDeleteWow! You've got it wrong Cheryl, you rock at writing love scenes!! Not only steamy but you pulled me in! So glad it's going to be a book!
ReplyDeleteI love the line "I miss a scene; my heart misses a beat" but I'm a sucker for repetition! I also agree with Stina about the kiss that's "almost where [he] planned". This is a great scene, a good mix of sweet (his nerves!) and hot.
ReplyDelete- Sophia.
It's so awesome that this is from the male POV. You don't see that often. Great job!
ReplyDeleteI love this scene. And we just watched the Matrix, so now you've got me thinking about Neo...
ReplyDeleteI loved this. Especially, Those tiny hearts turn into satellites around the thudding planet that’s ready to go nova in my chest.
ReplyDeleteLove that line.
Great scene.
She's a good girl! Great snippet C.Lee. Mine isn't ready, boo hoo. We'll see if I get it up in time!
ReplyDeleteLots of good tension here.
ReplyDeleteI am CRAZY, CRAZY about that last line!
ReplyDeleteI love the line "I miss a scene. My heart misses a beat" and then I also love when he plants a kiss *almost* where he wanted. Nice job.
ReplyDeleteI love the "tiny needles tattoo my skin." Wonderful word choice! Feel bad for the poor guy lol Thanks for sharing :D
ReplyDelete