Monday, September 21, 2009

Phobias


Have any of you had an attack of the phobias? You know those creepy ideas that slip under the door sill while you're writing that book.

I haven't had a phobia attack in a long time, but it happened today so I thought I'd share the few I enjoyed.

I encourage anyone who is experiencing or has experienced something like this to jump in with a contribution. Also if you have a counter-phobia or a spell or a potion or a good shrink don't hesitate to share.

PHOBIAS DU JOUR

1) I'm not really a writer, just a poseur with a pen and business cards.

2) Rewriting is really code for slash and burn.

3) Nobody will ever read what I write.

4) I'm writing the worst book in the history of writing.

5) Agents are sniggering about my query letters.

6) Reviewers are inviting thousands to a book burning ceremony in my honor.

7) Editor are posting my first chapters as examples of what not to do. They're "forgetting" to remove my name.

8) Librarians are avoiding me, even when I just need directions to the copy machine.

9) My publicist is sending out negative press releases.

10) My last rejection came from myself.

7 comments:

  1. We all have these moments, Lee. They will pass. Have some chocolate. Drink some champagne. Take a bubble bath. And know that you've written a beautiful, meaningful book. And you will again.

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  2. These are hilarious! I especially love #8.

    I've experienced 1 through 5. Oh, and #10! :)

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  3. I'm with Mel--No. 8 is hilarious. I can just see the librarians avoiding eye contact. Oh, the shame.
    Yeah, I know these little monsters. Sometimes it's hard to round them up and put them back in the cage where they belong.

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  4. I knew there were kindred spirits out there. So comforting. Don't you just sometimes think you're all alone with your "machine" and it could care less how you feel?

    Thanks for the funny comments and the caring.

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  5. Oh I can so identify with #s 1-5! As for the cure...I think a fairy godmother would be a good thing to have around during these times.

    PS Thanks for the book and the inscription...which I will pass back to you now, Believe in Magic!

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  6. writegame.blogspot.com; You saved my day again.

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  7. Glad to hear it Anonymous. Love to be of help.

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